We're All Mad Here » Conversations

Adventures With the Angry Chef

shell — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 05:27:56 +0000

Tonight:

1. Angry Chef stops by tonight (*surprise!) to scream at me about being a whore…because I wouldn’t tell him where I got the twenty dollars from in my pocket book…that he found out about a week ago.
2. Then he tells me he is going to win me back one day…and that he’ll try “starting tomorrow”, but for now he is going to keep-on keeping on in AngryLand and get mad at me for not telling him straight out that I had saved the $20.
3. Then he tries to hand me a kleenex when he finally won and I couldn’t hold back the tears of exhaustion when he doesn’t leave after the third time I asked him to. Oh geez Angry Chef Boy, wTf did I ever do without you in my life?

And to think, all this because I spent all of that $20 sans banana money on lunch today (and we all know you can’t buy a martini on banana money, organic bananas, maybe but that is another story) and couldn’t go out to Cobalts to meet some very nice new people. Alcohol comes out over food finally for once. (Side note: I couldn’t pack my lunch this morning because when Angry Chef Boy arrived to “babysit” as he called it, he decided to insist on “talking” which is what he called what normal ppl call “being angry.”)

But on a side note, Angry Chef Boy is taking a 3 month voyage around the world on a boat as an Angry Boat Chef Boy so all this will no longer be an issue. I will be using both my lunch money AND the banana money AND the money I make from pawning a few body parts off to pay for a babysitter. A spleen is a small price to pay. Bon Voyage Angry Chef Boy, Bon Voyage!

o.0

Tomorrow:
Shopping for a dead bolt.

*UPDATE: Just went to brush my teeth and go to bed. He stole the toothpaste on his way out. Really?

I’m Gonna Miss You, Baby.

shell — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:54:19 +0000

Shell: I’m going to open this bottle of champagne.
Shell’s Mom: What’s the celebration?
Shell: Me opening this bottle of champagne.

When Negotiations Backfire: A Look at Kids and Fashion

shell — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:54:56 +0000

iz’s 2nd birthday fash.

Today the kids are excited: they were invited to a party with other little girls. Not just any other little girls, but fellow Barbie aficionados. A dear friend of Miss Vero’s invited us. “The girls will love it,” she says “our block is a sea of pink Barbie Jeeps as far as the eye can see.”

This, of course, brings us to the battle du jour.
Solaris and fashion are like oil and vinegar. She tries, it’s just hard for her in a town where all the other little kids are fine in their Garanimal shorts and tees. We do a lot of research online and quality time with Vogue to try to steer her in the right direction. For instance, today it’s a balmy 80 degrees or so. IsaLuna dons her super cute floral tunic from Carters in a super cute blogosphere/etsy inspired print (sans panties, as usual with her, but that is another battle).

iz’s tunic pattern.

Sol pops out in a long sweater dress ready to go. I shake my head.

ME: You can’t wear that today, sweetie, it’s too hot out.

Sol: I’m cold.

ME: (Changing direction) It’s not really in season. Here, look online at what the other little girls are wearing.

I pull up the Gymboree site, followed by Saks. I quickly learn that trying to negotiate fashion decisions with Sol using the Saks site is a mistake. Skipping past all the more affordable outfits like Chloe, Isabel Garreton and Burberry (and I use “affordable” losely), she goes right for the D&G. Even Dior is 1/3 the price of Dolce&Gabbana.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one to spend more than $30 on a kid’s outfit given how they have a tendency to completely DESTROY anything they get near. (Artist kids– if it can be painted, it will be painted). And isn’t the purpose of buying higher quality clothing so it last longer, or is this just my utilitarian view of the matter? So if they are only in a size for a month or two, what is the point?

The Principles of Fashion Education in Emo Preschool
The original purpose of the exercise was to instill an appreciation for fashion, not that I want her to go out and drop $300 on a kid’s outfit, but so that she can learn an appreciation for style and quality so when she is out at a really great vintage shop and happens across an awesome vintage Balenciaga she won’t think twice about snatch it up for her dear mother. Ok, so really it’s so that she is able to recognize classic lines, textures and colors and apply them to more sensible items.

Fashion is an art, and like any other art is an equal mix of investment and sensuality. To not teach them to appreciate art is a tragedy. Materialism is an entirely different monster from art appreciation. She can go and experience a Van Gogh the same way she can experience a Versace, but it doesn’t mean she needs to own it. In fact, sometimes I wonder if the better investment would be to never own a Van Gogh, but instead take the lessons his pieces teach her about art and learn to recognize the potential in up and coming artists.

At least until she marries her pianist prodigy husband, Ethan and can buy herself as many Van Goghs and D&G sun dresses as her little heart desires. Until then the sweaters stay in the closet when the thermometer breaks 75, kid.

To Wong Fu, With Love

shell — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:34:08 +0000

Sometimes my mind and body seem to separate, so the idea of self becomes thought and the mirror becomes foreign. I blame Ana for that. Sometimes the camera helps bring the two back together again. Sometimes it doesn’t.

S: I always feel like a transvestite in make up.

Third Baby

shell — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:27:50 +0000

S:At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

D: Nice

S: We should have another baby

D: What? No.

S: Come on, we would get some time to ourselves according to this chart.

The Big B at the OG

shell — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 21:45:55 +0000

Laur

http://yeswecanholdbabies.wordpress.com/	5:33 PM

holy crap cute	5:33 PM

i am ded of cute now	5:33 PM

im-ing fro the great beyond	5:33 PM

God sort of looks like Jon stewart	5:34 PM

I believe!	5:34 PM

That is super cute	5:36 PM

You and cute baby thing…weird	5:36 PM

Laur

i know, right?

5:36 PM

So here’s one for the “I’ll see you in four years when your nasty bitch daughter gets all knocked up Palin style”…	5:37 PM

We sat next to this mother daughter thing today at the Olive Garden…like 3 feet from them	5:37 PM

and sol didn’t have a nap	5:37 PM

AND spent the night at grandmas	5:37 PM

so you can imagine our conversations.	5:38 PM

Laur

oh geeze

5:38 PM

Anyway, five minutes after we sat down bitch face daughter was like “That’s why I never want to have kids”	5:38 PM

And bitch face mom was like “Kids are not something to take lightly. Your father and I really put some thought into it, we were together like 4 years before we had you”	5:38 PM

And they were all snobby and pretentious	5:39 PM

Laur

OMG FOUR YEARS

5:39 PM

and then their bill came out it was like $16 bucks and the lady had to EXPLAIN where to sign the credit card form at	5:39 PM

I almost keeled over	5:39 PM

Figuring they were the kind of ppl to stiff the poor waitress, (and the fact she put up with Solaris screaming at her she wanted her chicken nuggets! OH did I lay down the law on that one. I had Sol apologize. ),	5:40 PM

Laur

wait, like the woman had to be told where to sign? or she was explaingin it to her daughter?

5:40 PM

I left her lik 50%	5:40 PM

No, the woman had to be told	5:40 PM

Laur

yiiiiikes

5:40 PM

and they were all boitch and shit	5:40 PM

did i mention the bitchy?	5:41 PM

Laur

5:41 PM

If you are THAT stupid, you don’t have a right to be bitchy

5:41 PM

Laur

but they sound sort of bitchy

5:41 PM

right?

5:41 PM

Laur

like, in a bitchy way

5:41 PM

Tots bitchy	5:41 PM

totes	5:41 PM

Laur

yeah	5:41 PM

as opposed to tots bitchy, which is what sol was	5:42 PM

lol	5:42 PM

cause she’s a tot	5:42 PM

clears throat

It falls apart…

shell — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 01:34:26 +0000

L:
I GOT IT 9:49 PM
2 girls, 1 Mom 9:49 PM
and you could write about potty training

On Olympic Gymnastics…almost

shell — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 02:54:11 +0000

Announcer: (on Russia leading the comp on first rotation tonight) America doesn’t really need to worry about where Russia is right now

Bryan: giggling* Yeah, they’re in Georgia.

P.s. did anyone else notice the “16″ year old Chinese member with the missing baby teeth, or were we the only ones?

102 and Rising

shell — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 16:01:28 +0000

more cat pictures

S Brain: I have to do this…and this…and this…and this…GET UP!

S Body: Oh, how adorable! You really are to cute. I DON’T THINK SO!

I was out for the count yesterday. Driving back from a lunch meeting…2 hours away in Stuart made me think the “OMG, I’m dying” pain was from the drive…and then the icky “OMG, I’m Dying and I CAN’T SLEEP” thing started. Then the “OMG, I’m dying, I can’t sleep and someone poured a bucket of water over the entire bed” thing started. I am semi functioning today and trying to dig myself out of the day off. Not working.

David sneezes like a girl

shell — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:40:26 +0000

I’m in the middle of reading this “Bossy has a little preexisting medical condition she likes to call, I Will Never Remember Your Name Or What You Are Saying Because I Am Too Busy Looking At Your Cute Shoes.” when David breaks the dead silence with…

D: I sneezed weird in class. Like a little girly sneeze…a squeak. And everyone laughed at me.

Quit interrupting bossy.