1 November, 2008

Third Baby

S:At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

D: Nice

S: We should have another baby

D: What? No.

S: Come on, we would get some time to ourselves according to this chart.

6 October, 2008

The Big B at the OG

Laur
     
 
http://yeswecanholdbabies.wordpress.com/ 5:33 PM
 
holy crap cute 5:33 PM
 
i am ded of cute now 5:33 PM
 
im-ing fro the great beyond 5:33 PM
 
God sort of looks like Jon stewart 5:34 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
I believe! 5:34 PM
 
That is super cute 5:36 PM
 
You and cute baby thing…weird 5:36 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
i know, right? 5:36 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
So here’s one for the “I’ll see you in four years when your nasty bitch daughter gets all knocked up Palin style”… 5:37 PM
 
We sat next to this mother daughter thing today at the Olive Garden…like 3 feet from them 5:37 PM
 
and sol didn’t have a nap 5:37 PM
 
AND spent the night at grandmas 5:37 PM
 
so you can imagine our conversations. 5:38 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
oh geeze 5:38 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
Anyway, five minutes after we sat down bitch face daughter was like “That’s why I never want to have kids” 5:38 PM
 
And bitch face mom was like “Kids are not something to take lightly. Your father and I really put some thought into it, we were together like 4 years before we had you” 5:38 PM
 
And they were all snobby and pretentious 5:39 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
OMG FOUR YEARS 5:39 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
and then their bill came out it was like $16 bucks and the lady had to EXPLAIN where to sign the credit card form at 5:39 PM
 
I almost keeled over 5:39 PM
 
Figuring they were the kind of ppl to stiff the poor waitress, (and the fact she put up with Solaris screaming at her she wanted her chicken nuggets! OH did I lay down the law on that one. I had Sol apologize. ), 5:40 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
wait, like the woman had to be told where to sign? or she was explaingin it to her daughter? 5:40 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
I left her lik 50% 5:40 PM
 
No, the woman had to be told 5:40 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
yiiiiikes 5:40 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
and they were all boitch and shit 5:40 PM
 
did i mention the bitchy? 5:41 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
no 5:41 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
If you are THAT stupid, you don’t have a right to be bitchy 5:41 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
but they sound sort of bitchy 5:41 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
right? 5:41 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
like, in a bitchy way 5:41 PM
 
     
 
 
     
 
Tots bitchy 5:41 PM
 
totes 5:41 PM
 
     

Me

Laur
     
 
yeah 5:41 PM
 
as opposed to tots bitchy, which is what sol was 5:42 PM
 
lol 5:42 PM
 
cause she’s a tot 5:42 PM
 
*clears throat*
4 October, 2008

It falls apart…

L:
I GOT IT 9:49 PM
2 girls, 1 Mom 9:49 PM
and you could write about potty training

12 August, 2008

On Olympic Gymnastics…almost

Announcer: (on Russia leading the comp on first rotation tonight) America doesn’t really need to worry about where Russia is right now

Bryan: giggling* Yeah, they’re in Georgia.

P.s. did anyone else notice the “16″ year old Chinese member with the missing baby teeth, or were we the only ones?

30 July, 2008

102 and Rising

bat country
more cat pictures

S Brain: I have to do this…and this…and this…and this…GET UP!

S Body: Oh, how adorable! You really are to cute. I DON’T THINK SO!

I was out for the count yesterday. Driving back from a lunch meeting…2 hours away in Stuart made me think the “OMG, I’m dying” pain was from the drive…and then the icky “OMG, I’m Dying and I CAN’T SLEEP” thing started. Then the “OMG, I’m dying, I can’t sleep and someone poured a bucket of water over the entire bed” thing started. I am semi functioning today and trying to dig myself out of the day off. Not working.

23 July, 2008

David sneezes like a girl

I’m in the middle of reading this “Bossy has a little preexisting medical condition she likes to call, I Will Never Remember Your Name Or What You Are Saying Because I Am Too Busy Looking At Your Cute Shoes.” when David breaks the dead silence with…

D: I sneezed weird in class. Like a little girly sneeze…a squeak. And everyone laughed at me.

Quit interrupting bossy.

21 July, 2008

“WTF are you doing?

cat
more cat pictures

S:… You know I get notifications on facebook whenever you comment on people’s pictures”

D: What? She’s a friend from school.

ON: “This is so hot you know how much i like me a pirate wench.” ~D on Facebook pic of blonde girl…who is not me.

——–

D: she has a pig heart? Really? (on phone)

s: Well, there’s a hell of a conversation starter for you.

(P.S. Ask about the “God, I miss you” text boy genius left on my cell phone from girl above after he switched his SIM card out of it. My other husband is a genius car. He has an I’m super smart cape.) It went like this…

S; I don’t even use that kind of emphasis with my mom “GAWD, I miss you.”

D; What, she’s religious?

PS. For those who take this literally, I really love my hubby and enjoy picking on him for his “Pimptacular” skills. HEART.

16 July, 2008

I claim Wednesdays as my day…

ok, here’s the plan…

S: 6:00 yoga, 7:00 meditation, 8:00…I don’t know what the hell I’ll be doing…9:00 PROJECT RUNWAY (And did you see that lady with the yellow paper dress? How pissed was she not to win. WTF-EVER) and 10:00 WHAT THE BUCK!!!

D: oh?

S: OH! I CAN READ PEREZ HILTON from 8-9, PERFECT

D: shhhhhh…..

10 July, 2008

*Cough, Cough

Morning Mimis

Sol: cough, cough <fake> I’m medicine (hands me the tylenol), Im sick

Shell: You’re not sick, you’re a hypochondriac. can you say ‘hypochondriac’?

Sol: Condreeeeah.

Shell: Good Job

She has an intense fear of mosquito bits. “skeeto bites, no skeeto bites, get inside” she told Aunt Maude as she was leaving yesterday.

8 July, 2008

OMG

Shell: Say Oh

Sol: Oh

Shell: em

Sol: em

Shell: gee

Sol: geeeee

Shell: Oh

Sol: Oh

Shell: em

Sol: em

Shell: gee

Sol: geeeee

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