1. Angry Chef stops by tonight (*surprise!) to scream at me about being a whore…because I wouldn’t tell him where I got the twenty dollars from in my pocket book…that he found out about a week ago.
2. Then he tells me he is going to win me back one day…and that he’ll try “starting tomorrow”, but for now he is going to keep-on keeping on in AngryLand and get mad at me for not telling him straight out that I had saved the $20.
3. Then he tries to hand me a kleenex when he finally won and I couldn’t hold back the tears of exhaustion when he doesn’t leave after the third time I asked him to. Oh geez Angry Chef Boy, wTf did I ever do without you in my life?
And to think, all this because I spent all of that $20 sans banana money on lunch today (and we all know you can’t buy a martini on banana money, organic bananas, maybe but that is another story) and couldn’t go out to Cobalts to meet some very nice new people. Alcohol comes out over food finally for once. (Side note: I couldn’t pack my lunch this morning because when Angry Chef Boy arrived to “babysit” as he called it, he decided to insist on “talking” which is what he called what normal ppl call “being angry.”)
But on a side note, Angry Chef Boy is taking a 3 month voyage around the world on a boat as an Angry Boat Chef Boy so all this will no longer be an issue. I will be using both my lunch money AND the banana money AND the money I make from pawning a few body parts off to pay for a babysitter. A spleen is a small price to pay. Bon Voyage Angry Chef Boy, Bon Voyage!
o.0
Tomorrow:
Shopping for a dead bolt.
*UPDATE: Just went to brush my teeth and go to bed. He stole the toothpaste on his way out. Really?
Today the kids are excited: they were invited to a party with other little girls. Not just any other little girls, but fellow Barbie aficionados. A dear friend of Miss Vero’s invited us. “The girls will love it,” she says “our block is a sea of pink Barbie Jeeps as far as the eye can see.”
This, of course, brings us to the battle du jour.
Solaris and fashion are like oil and vinegar. She tries, it’s just hard for her in a town where all the other little kids are fine in their Garanimal shorts and tees. We do a lot of research online and quality time with Vogue to try to steer her in the right direction. For instance, today it’s a balmy 80 degrees or so. IsaLuna dons her super cute floral tunic from Carters in a super cute blogosphere/etsy inspired print (sans panties, as usual with her, but that is another battle).
iz’s tunic pattern.
Sol pops out in a long sweater dress ready to go. I shake my head.
ME: You can’t wear that today, sweetie, it’s too hot out.
Sol: I’m cold.
ME: (Changing direction) It’s not really in season. Here, look online at what the other little girls are wearing.
I pull up the Gymboree site, followed by Saks. I quickly learn that trying to negotiate fashion decisions with Sol using the Saks site is a mistake. Skipping past all the more affordable outfits like Chloe, Isabel Garreton and Burberry (and I use “affordable” losely), she goes right for the D&G. Even Dior is 1/3 the price of Dolce&Gabbana.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one to spend more than $30 on a kid’s outfit given how they have a tendency to completely DESTROY anything they get near. (Artist kids– if it can be painted, it will be painted). And isn’t the purpose of buying higher quality clothing so it last longer, or is this just my utilitarian view of the matter? So if they are only in a size for a month or two, what is the point?
The Principles of Fashion Education in Emo Preschool
The original purpose of the exercise was to instill an appreciation for fashion, not that I want her to go out and drop $300 on a kid’s outfit, but so that she can learn an appreciation for style and quality so when she is out at a really great vintage shop and happens across an awesome vintage Balenciaga she won’t think twice about snatch it up for her dear mother. Ok, so really it’s so that she is able to recognize classic lines, textures and colors and apply them to more sensible items.
Fashion is an art, and like any other art is an equal mix of investment and sensuality. To not teach them to appreciate art is a tragedy. Materialism is an entirely different monster from art appreciation. She can go and experience a Van Gogh the same way she can experience a Versace, but it doesn’t mean she needs to own it. In fact, sometimes I wonder if the better investment would be to never own a Van Gogh, but instead take the lessons his pieces teach her about art and learn to recognize the potential in up and coming artists.
At least until she marries her pianist prodigy husband, Ethan and can buy herself as many Van Goghs and D&G sun dresses as her little heart desires. Until then the sweaters stay in the closet when the thermometer breaks 75, kid.
Sometimes my mind and body seem to separate, so the idea of self becomes thought and the mirror becomes foreign. I blame Ana for that. Sometimes the camera helps bring the two back together again. Sometimes it doesn’t.
So here’s one for the “I’ll see you in four years when your nasty bitch daughter gets all knocked up Palin style”…
5:37 PM
We sat next to this mother daughter thing today at the Olive Garden…like 3 feet from them
5:37 PM
and sol didn’t have a nap
5:37 PM
AND spent the night at grandmas
5:37 PM
so you can imagine our conversations.
5:38 PM
Me
Laur
oh geeze
5:38 PM
Anyway, five minutes after we sat down bitch face daughter was like “That’s why I never want to have kids”
5:38 PM
And bitch face mom was like “Kids are not something to take lightly. Your father and I really put some thought into it, we were together like 4 years before we had you”
5:38 PM
And they were all snobby and pretentious
5:39 PM
Me
Laur
OMG FOUR YEARS
5:39 PM
and then their bill came out it was like $16 bucks and the lady had to EXPLAIN where to sign the credit card form at
5:39 PM
I almost keeled over
5:39 PM
Figuring they were the kind of ppl to stiff the poor waitress, (and the fact she put up with Solaris screaming at her she wanted her chicken nuggets! OH did I lay down the law on that one. I had Sol apologize. ),
5:40 PM
Me
Laur
wait, like the woman had to be told where to sign? or she was explaingin it to her daughter?
5:40 PM
I left her lik 50%
5:40 PM
No, the woman had to be told
5:40 PM
Me
Laur
yiiiiikes
5:40 PM
and they were all boitch and shit
5:40 PM
did i mention the bitchy?
5:41 PM
Me
Laur
no
5:41 PM
If you are THAT stupid, you don’t have a right to be bitchy
S Brain: I have to do this…and this…and this…and this…GET UP!
S Body: Oh, how adorable! You really are to cute. I DON’T THINK SO!
I was out for the count yesterday. Driving back from a lunch meeting…2 hours away in Stuart made me think the “OMG, I’m dying” pain was from the drive…and then the icky “OMG, I’m Dying and I CAN’T SLEEP” thing started. Then the “OMG, I’m dying, I can’t sleep and someone poured a bucket of water over the entire bed” thing started. I am semi functioning today and trying to dig myself out of the day off. Not working.
iz’s tunic pattern.
