252776-R1-00-2, originally uploaded by foampeanut87.

This is Shell. She live in Vero Beach, Florida where lots of realtors say stupid things like “Viva la Vida Vero” and show pictures of things that you have to travel to Miami for, like modern furniture and culture…and style. None of which actual exist there. But they have lots of little cement cookie cutter houses, and there are plenty available…if you want one. She is not a realtor. She doesn’t like realtors.

Lots of celebrities live there, too…She doesn’t like celebrities either, even though she has never met one. Except Tom Savini, but how can you not like Sex Machine?

Gloria Estefan, originally uploaded by Alan Light.

She lives there.

Prince Charles in Upton-upon-Severn, originally uploaded by Iain Cuthbertson.

He has been rumored to live here. And by “live here”, she means “has one of their 32 houses here, never visits”.

They are most definitely NOT her next door neighbors. They are separated by two miles, a bridge and 8,000 q-tips with purple hair who can’t see over the steering wheel.

Oh my God!, originally uploaded by pepe50.

This is her next door neighbor. He is much cooler than those other people. Shell likes to have coffee with him and try to convince him he doesn’t exist. He laughs at her. Sometimes she gets his mail.

Winter berries, originally uploaded by Thiophene_Guy.

She use to live next to him in college, too. That’s where she studied digital media and art and culture and stuff. That is also where she received the award “Biggest Geek of the School” (i.e. Techno-best) which she is not really proud of but feels validates her. She also got to go to geek camp sponsored by these people. She was one of nine. She had lots of sex and even tried…gasp…a cigarette. Two things she misses now that she is married and chases kids all day.

She later went on to do all sorts of great geekery things including directing an art department at a book publisher, designing award winning frivolities and programing Artificial Intelligence on the quest for a decent guy. Sadly, she dropped the AI the day he called her “babe” and asked her to bring him a beer. The Environmental Protection Agency gave her recognition in the Cambridge Journal for a Girl Scout Patch design…which she thought was the coolest thing. Other cool thing: American Business Awards Judge. Rock.

True to all blogging greats, she got in trouble for writing a blog. She isn’t sorry. She’d do it again. She invites you to do it, too. She says “employees should be the checks and balances of the work force. If we don’t hold them accountable for their actions, who will?” She’s a bit of an anarchist. She likes social utopianism…on paper. She’s anti-consumerism, annoyingly opinionated but still open minded. She is a nihilist, this makes her grumpy most of the time.  She’s not always right. She hates it when the few times a Republican proves her wrong. She’s not a democrat either. She likes freegan ideas but not the dumpster diving.

Then she met this boy and he got her pregnant. Opps. Then they had baby fever and had another. Will they ever stop? Only time will tell. She is terrified of mini-vans is even more terrified by the gas mileage on a VW Eurovan. She wants to live in an off grid house with living walls and raise chickens, bunnies, goats and open a nursery. That is, if she could get her corpro-prostitution addiction in check. She’s a bit of a masochist.

Contact Shell at shellgreenier_AT_yahoo_DOT_com or via one of the social networks or instant messenging services listed at the top right.