Pulled into a mommy-to-be board for a moment looking for any sign of life in Vero other than the obscene death industry (Mommy clubs and such). Fell into an even bigger nightmare.

OMG between the abbreviations and the random “How many pieces of toilet paper should I use? What are you using?” posts, my head is spinning. Seriously…it doesn’t matter how old people are when they are having babies, which baby it is or how big your fucking belly is. I don’t care if you name it Jesse or Matt. Just pick one! If you seriously have to poll a group of random women about this crap just to sooth your nerves then good bless you, you have a hell of a ride coming ahead of you.

All this crap pisses me off A.) because I am sick of being bombarded by bullshit advertisements, B.) I am sick of paying for bullshit “medical advice”, and C.) I am sick of everyone else just readily accepting them. I look forward to navigating my child through the endless maze of zombified, mindless, (and sadly) soulless human beings brainwashed by the oh holy corporate whore goddess. I just wish more people would wake up and realize that it doesn’t take a million dollars to raise a baby, it just takes a spine.

And no, when they say “it takes a village to raise a child,” they do not mean a virtual village. Pull your ass away from the computer, go sit in a quiet corner and listen to your fucking body, it will tell you a hell of alot more than a message board.

And in other news…
Marley died last week, poor fish. According to laur this will not reflect on my parenting skills because unlike fish, children don’t die when the roll around on the carpet.
Went to Houston for Thanksgiving.
Bought our very first christmas tree together yesterday, found out why a tree with a curved trunk is not the most intellegent of ideas (as it sits ghetto rigged with hemp and thread spindles in the corner)
Had my Gestational Diabetes screening today, and passed… ???
Now i am sitting here, drinking milk, watching some CSI being icky miserable. I am trying to get unhorney, because it is hard to stay horney when you are watching CSI, but it is hard to be unhorney when you are pregnant. But for David’s hmmm hmm and my wrists’ sake, I hope it works.

Finally, a picture of David and me…pre-baby at EarthDay BirthDay 2005 (back in May, no he is not listening to my belly.)

Went maternity shopping with grandma-to-be albury. It was interesting, particulary the dressing room part where you see yourself naked in the full length mirrors in all the florescent glory of the shop lights. See, this can be challenging when you are not pregnant, but now I juat feel fat. Did you know you gain weight in your back? My ass completely dissappeared, i knew where i left it, but when i came back, there was nothing there. Huge boobs, huge belly and i’ve never felt more conflicted in a while… slightly depressed over how frumy i look and yet grumpy that i feel that way, with such a blessing as the little SunBerry (Solaris Albury, get it?). Fuck it, i feel ugly. I miss my boy-ish figure. I hope to god it comes back.