Sitting at the computer, my back aching, my eyes itchy, my feet hurt and I grow incrimentally more exhausted with each passing minute. Tomorrow I am meeting a man after work for coffee, something I am definetly not looking forward to, a doctor of the drunken-type, as they always are. Now i could look at this one of two ways… as a blow against my character :) or just that i have a tendency to frequent the watering grounds of the drunken (because i work there, i don’t have time for social encounters in bars, nor the tolerance).

Realized why i hate work… b/c everyone is setting me up to fail. They wrote me off before I ever started b/c of the 6 people who have held my position in the last 5 years. So instead of treating me like an equal, they are treating me like a failure, like a five year old who needs their hand held and an infinite amount of paitence. I have been there two weeks and already they are pissed because I haven’t gotten through the stuff that has backed up not only while i was training, but also while the girl who had my position before me went on vacation…so as of tomorrow, three days after I started busting my ass at this shit, I am happy to say I will be finished. EAT THAT PESSIMISTS! Muahahaha.

my job is driving me crazy, they want you to complete everything…but they don’t want you to work overtime to get it all done. And now that i can afford to finally get a martini again, i don’t have the time. I don’t even have time to go grocery shopping or cash my checks. grrr.

Muhanna took me out for coffee the other night, verifying once again the main reasons i don’t date. So finally after surviving 20 hours of work, 10 minutes of relatively decent conversation and 1 hour of him apologing over nothing and confessing his undying love for me (mind you this is our first date) and trying to get me to move to LA or invite him to move in with me…I arrived safely at home…and passed out, fucking freak.

And i would just like to thank my cousin for going and getting married on me, because last weekend when my father came into town all i heard was references to “don’t worry, you’ll be next.” DON’T WORRY? When the hell did this point in my life arrive?

Don’t worry…there’s enough alcohol to make it through this.

the kind you clean up w/…oh hell. If only it were as easy to clean up love with a mop and bucket, but then people like my mom (therapist), my dad (brewmaster) and someone else i know (publisher of such hit titles as Sweetie, Here’s the Best Reason on the Planet to Say No to Your Boyfriend: Even If You’ve Already Said Yes, Exposing Men’s Distorted Logic and Double Standard Attitude in the Interpretation of the Essential Aspects of Relationships between Men and Women, and of course my favorite Is Fred Dead? A Manual on Sexuality for Men with Spinal Cord Injuries)would be out of business.

Anyway, Beth’s “man” hasn’t called in a week. She is heartbroken. I’m heartbroken. The sister part of me wants to track him down and tear his nuts off for hurting her, the female part of me wants to feed her ben and jerrys and tell her thats how men are until it is engrained in her head, the lesbian part of me wants to tell her there is no reason to ever let anyone treat you in such a way…that she is a beautiful, wonderful creature that should be cherished.

In other news…I’m in love! yay! its been a while…its been too long…its…with my job? I am in love with my job, i’ve found a new centering for my life and i am happy. Yay! I was so miserable the first few days though, its not like me to be lost and confused when it comes to my job, so getting in the roll of things was stressful and miserable.